and so it is...

Alright – I’m finally here, it’s hot, and I’m going on five days of stomach/bowelular problems…for your information. It started the night we had seafood over at the neighbor’s house. It all looked great, the table was nicely set, out in the street and the food was presented beautifully – maybe too beautifully. I don’t know if it was the raw oysters, or the muscles that did me in, but the next day I came down with flu symptoms that lasted 24 hours, and now a residual stomach ache that knows no bounds. The worst part is – there’s nothing around to eat to make me feel better. As a true blooded American, spicy pork in a fish and plum sauce is far from what I consider “comfort food.” But I suppose these are the true markings of a new resident of Thailand (how expat of me).
I basically sold the remaining of my possessions a few weeks back except for my cd collection that my brother is now the proud bearer of. Hopefully he’s found a place for those – and a couch for his new place.
It's a strange feeling being back here. Upon arrival I actually experienced a feeling of ‘underwhelment.’ It was like I was back home, unlike when I was here in January and every little thing that passed by the window of our cab made me revel in my arrival in a foreign country. Not that I’ve already began to take my surroundings for granted – I’m constantly struck by how amazing it is to be immersed in a foreign culture, but I guess I’m taking it all in as a fixture as opposed to through the eyes of a visitor passing through.
My initial plans are to begin teaching English. Sirachai, the Mariani plant manager wants to start the English program here ASAP. So I need to get my proposal of the plan in order – and get started. We’re probably looking at a launch date of my teaching career by the week of the 21st. I hope. But first I needed to get my scuba certification. C’mon, first things first.
Determined to start my scuba lessons underway we went down to Pataya to the PADI dive school and talked up the folks there about setting up my dive times etc. The man handling the job was a shaven-headed German about mid 40’s, leathery faced, mustachioed and buff, resplendent in a tank-top and short Harley-Davidson shorts that barely contained man’s ‘essentials.’ Natalie thought he was gay – I told her he’s just German. We walked out with lessons scheduled, and a rented VCR with two VHS cassettes containing the 5 lessons of the PADI dive school.
Well our expeditiousness came to a halt that night after the affair with the seafood buffet at our neighbors’. However being laid up did present ample time to view the scuba videos. I actually watch each lesson twice. It’s about four hours worth of material all together. Nerdy? definitly, but as I said, had some time.
Come Wednesday, Natalie has a day off, (some Thai holiday) I’m feeling a little better, so we go back down to Pataya to return the VCR and reschedule my lessons. Our neighbor friends: Bet and his son, Tony (these are the phonetic spellings of their names) as it turns out are heading down to the dive shop as well – so we hitch a ride with them.
Back story: Guy is the wife, and owner of a shop that she runs out of her garage. Bet is her husband who does some kind of work on the new international airport being built here, and Tony is their son. He actually took that name when they were living in the states on the east coast, and speaks English almost as well as a native. Natalie has forged a great relationship with them, and they have been great to her, and now to me. They certainly have been quite useful as chauffeurs.
We were again greeted by our German friend, we ended up eating lunch there, as Bet and Tony negotiated the right price for the required gear. Natalie and I sat rapping with the German cat, who got more and more interesting as the conversation went on. Turns out he actually owns a motorcycle (not a Harley) that he has housed in Germany. As he pointed out – the Chinese are reproducing Harley Davidson motorcycles that actually perform better then the original. Big surprise, but if any of you motorcycle buffs out there are wondering why the average prices of Davidson’s Choppers have gone down, that’s why.
After some talk about hogs, beer, mustard and rare white German sausage we naturally found ourselves discussing the intricacies involved in purchasing Thai prostitutes in the local go-go bars. It was as if we were talking about buying batteries. He talked about it like any another banal detail of life in Pataya. According to the German Dive Master, one shouldn’t pay more than 2000 baht (about $50) for a night with a ‘girl.’ Now, I’m no pro when it comes to prostitution, but a couple episodes of ‘Vegas’ tells me that fifty bucks is a pretty good deal. He also informed us as to the risks involved. And I’m not even talking about STDs. He said that when a girl tells you she’s younger than 18 you have to be careful, because it could be entrapment. Someone could be there with a camera, and then you’ll go to jail. It made me think that fifty dollars maybe wasn’t such a good of a deal.
A good deal is when your other neighbor has a salon built into their house, and gives you and your best friend facials. Yes, I got a facial a couple of nights ago. And it smelt really good. And I can say my face has never felt so smooth or glowed with such radiance. It was so fresh and so clean!
Well, that about brings us up to date. Reporting a so-far-so good. Now if I could just shake this stomach problem. Natalie and I are looking to board a plane out NYC tonight for my friend Jessica’s wedding. Since Natalie has a week off, we’ll spend some time in NYC visiting her old stomping grounds. Thanks for reading. You’re the best!